Thursday, September 16, 2010
Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2010 12:10:29 -0700
Subject: Kelsea's Essay
September 10, 2010
When you look at someone for the first time it is so easy to judge them. It is easy to take a glance at them and make statements and form opinions that we have no right to make. It is astonishing how those opinions, those statements, change after you hear a person’s story and learn what they have gone through in life, the obstacles they have had to overcome. Everyone has a story, our history of how we came to be the people we are today.
To understand my story, and to completely comprehend the reason why I chose to play collegiate soccer and attend Idaho State University, I would need to explain who my brother is. Tanner Godfrey is my older brother, my hero. I’ve looked up to him all my life, he’s my invincible brother, my rock, the one that can’t be broken. When you look at Tanner for the first time you see him in a wheelchair. That’s when people look at him sympathetically and think he’s sad, he’s not normal, he doesn’t live the same, he has restrictions, he sits at home all day. Little do they know he’s Tanner Godfrey.
My brother Tanner is twenty one years old. Two years ago he was in a dirt bike accident. He was paralyzed from the waist down in a matter of minutes. My dad called my mom to let her know about Tanner’s accident, my mom and I were in San Diego for a soccer tournament. My mom came to me early morning before my game to let me know the news. The only thing I remember is that as soon as she told me my knees buckled and I fell to the floor in disbelief. I had no idea how to react or what to do; my invincible rock had been shattered. The next flight out wasn’t going to be for a few hours so I played my games because that was what my brother told me to do for him. I played the game of my life, which happened to also have a lot of college scouts around, which is what set off my collegiate bound process.
Fast forward a few hours and I find myself running to my brother’s room, tears streaming down my face, staying close to my mom the whole way down. We turn the corner to find family and friends lined up in the waiting room, we pass by everyone not thinking to say hello. My mom swings the door open. I race to grab his hand as my mom goes to reach for her oldest son’s head. We both start bawling and Tanner being the person he is, looks up without a single tear in his eye and as calm as can be and says, “Don’t worry everything’s going to be okay. What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve. I will walk again.” Reading this you probably stop and think that no one who was just told they wouldn’t walk again would be so determined and strong willed. You may even think this story is fake, but it’s not, you just don’t know Tanner Godfrey.
Two years ago, over Thanksgiving weekend my brother was racing motocross down in Mesquite, Nevada. He was racing up a hill and hit a pot hole in the ground. He flew over the handle bars of his motorcycle at forty miles per hour into the ground where his neck took the majority of the impact. Tanner felt a tingling sensation come over his legs. Nobody had seen the crash, it was him all, alone waiting for someone to come help. Next thing Tanner remembers is being life lifted to Mesquite hospital where they told him he was paralyzed from the waist down and would never walk again. Tanner never accepted what the doctors said. He knew what he was capable of. A few hours later he was flown to the U of U hospital. Tanner was in the hospital for about a month and I was there with him every day.
After The crash things did change. Visiting him in the hospital was harder and harder. I wanted to cry all the time but couldn’t because not even he was crying. He never led us on to believe that his life was going to be any different. Nothing stopped him and he kept his goal of doing everything normally again in his near sight.
When you are with him you just can’t stop smiling. To the world he looks like some guy in a wheel chair, but to me he’s still my invincible wall. He has proven time and time again that he will never be shattered; mentally or physically. Life is not fair but Tanner would never say that to you. He has always shown tremendous strength; be it on the Alta wrestling team or through this life obstacle he faces right now.
In the hospital we tried to lift his spirits but at the end of the day it was he who lifted ours.
He can walk with a walker and a couple steps without the walker. He’s rode a motorcycle again and has been doing what people thought was the impossible. He refuses to use his wheel chair most of the time, which is understandable for the type of person he is. Tanner goes to the gym everyday and drives like everyone else. He lives his life and doesn’t let anything stop him. The positive attitude that he has towards life is outstanding and unbelievable. He will always try and succeed to accomplish tasks that regular people in a wheel chair wouldn’t do. He is determined to prove the doctors and anyone else who doubted him that he will walk again without assistance. He is my inspiration. If I ever am having a bad day all I need to do is go see or talk to Tanner.
I wasn’t going to play collegiate soccer, I wasn’t sure it was something I wanted. I was going to give up and just stay close to Tanner. After watching my big brother get things he loves to do get taken away I had no reason not to play. He was going to go to college and had the talent to go professional. I would have never forgiven myself if I had given up on my dreams and if I had let Tanner down in not taking advantage of everything life gives me. It would be a disgrace to him and all he stands for if I were to give up my talent. I chose to come to Idaho State University because it wasn’t too far from home and I could play soccer. I chose to not give up in anything because he’s never given up. I made my grandmother, my brother, my family, and myself proud to continue my education and live every moment to the max. Tanner helped me decide where to go and to never just give an average effort in anything.
Education is important and not taking anything for granted were the two main thoughts running through my head as I chose which college to attend. My brother is my driving force in everything I do. He is my hero and he is the reason I work so hard on and off the field. I know that if my brother was doing something he’d be giving it 110%. Because of that I give a hundred and twenty percent. I owe it to him. He helped me chose a good college and go after my goals. In conclusion; I am at Idaho State University with a starting spot on the soccer team as a freshman all because of someone with a lot of heart, will and determination with the name Tanner Godfrey.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I have more video to show, here is just a few.
I know you all have been wondering how he is
coming in his progress. I am so thankful I can
share this with you. He is still very determined.
The Physical Therapist have been amazed and entertained
by Tanner. Never a dull moment. Jan is the one in
red shirt, she has been working with him from the start.
Bonnie is behind him making sure he doesn't fall. She
has made Tanner her study.(I am not sure what it is called)
but she has added a day to Tanner's training. So he goes
to PT 4 days a week, then will head over to Treehouse where he
will work on his upper body and walk by himself on the
treadmill. I told him I was going to go over and film him.
He said no camera's are aloud in the gym. I will have to
find away to sneak in! (He does not like to be filmed.) Last
week he had a gentlemen come over to introduce himself. He
told Tanner what an inspiration he has been to him, how impressed
he is with his determination and how hard he works.
As you can see it is paying off.
|Make a Smilebox slideshow|
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Here are some videos of Tanner to just give you
an idea of what he is doing and how is walking.
Hopefully, I can figure more out to ad to this
site. There is alot of many obstacles he is over
coming. To see him progressing everyday keeps
all our spirits up. This week he went to talk to
Kelsea's Alta Soccer team. Yes, he know has more
fans that are touched by his courage and willingness
not to give up. But the best was seeing how proud
Kelsea was of her brother! He is her biggest hero and
she is his favorite fan! They sure have helped each other out.
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers! They will always be needed
Tanner has is own way of warming up. He loves challanges
and this is how he chooses to warm up. This is when
the team from back east came to observe Tanner. They are
amazed at Tanners fast progress. Also trying to figure out
how to slow him down, just a little, to make sure he creates
good walking habits. (Good Luck).
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
This is a video fromTanner on July 16th.This is
some of his first really walking at a faster pace.
He would work so hard at PT and then come
home and go to Treehouse for more workout.
He was getting to the point of being able to
walk for 30 minutes. He is also working so
hard on building his muscles and his core. What
he is trying to do is get his lower and upper core
to work together. It is really hard to get his lower
core without his quads working. He uses alot of
I will get to putting more pictures and video on
as soon as I can. I had shoulder surgery in May.
It has taken me a while to get back to the things
I need to do. Well I don't know if I will ever get
there but am trying. My house is torn apart, and
has been dumped upside down since December.
I feel like I am in a boat that keeps sprouting new
holes. I stick my finger in and another one blows.
Thats life for all. We just have so much to learn.
Something like enjoying the journey. What a journey!!!
Tanner has made incredible progress. He has had
people fly in from Florida, one of the best in spinal
injuries. They have been e-mailing her and asking
what they can do to move him in the next step. So
she was so intrigued that she wanted to come out
and see him.
Also the U of U student that is getting her Masters
in PT has changed Tanner to be her study. Which is
great because he will have a free PT session with her
and I am sure other great things will come from this.
Blessings come from all, Thanks for all your prayers.
They are working. Keep Believing!!!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Grandpa Dick hooked Tanner up with the "Sexy Mexy". He is now able to
drive himself to and from PT. Also many other places. It is so great for
him to be able to get out. We are so blessed to be surrounded by amazing
friends and family. Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
He said he would ride a bike with Britton before
he left on his mission. It was another goal he had
set for himself and accomplished. (with the help
of his friends). Next his Tanner at Caneville with the
family. Kelsea and I were at a soccer tournament so we
were unable to go with them. I made Tanner promise he
wouldn't ride a motorcycle. But I didn't mention the
rhino. Tanner and Grandpa Dick made a driving stick for
him to use for gas and brake. The last pictures are
of Tanner fishing with friends. They pulled out some
kayaks and Tanner went kayaking. As you can see Tanner
is doing many fun things. I can't say enough about his
friends and family. He is truly blessed to have the people
he has around him. It is true when they say it takes a village.
We have an amazing village that is here with us every step
of the way in our journey! Your prayers are being heard!!
Lots of love to all, and much Thanks to all.
|Make a Smilebox slideshow|
Saturday, May 31, 2008
This is Jan Black Tanners Physical Therapist. There are other great ones also, but Jan has been awesome with Tanner. She motivates him and understands Tanners determination. He Knows what he wants and is going to accompoish it. But the best is that she can put up with Tanners teasing. His thing know is when new patients come in and ask what happened to him. He explained how he was minding his own business crossing the street in a crosswalk and Jan swerved and hit him. We all love him for that sense of humor. He keeps smiles on all our faces. He keeps my heart light! But what an amazing young man behind his smile.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
For those of you that keep up with the blog I appologise
for being so behind on the info. I am not sure I should
keep going or how many still keep up with us. There
is alot of stories I need to share and I decided I will
do it one a day until I catch up.
This was on a Wednesday in April when we got a
phone call for Tanner. This is one of is day off from PT
it was around 10.00 in the morning. He hung up
saying that someone was coming over to see him
that was at Preston school and Preston had told
him the story of Tanner's accident.
We he got here he introduced himself to us. He was the
flight nurse in the Life Flight Helicopter that crashed 5
years ago. He was the only survivor and had broken his
back. He was walking! He also shared with us how 2 doctors
had told him he would never walk again. His story is amazing
and I am so glad he took the time to come to visit Tanner.
It is people like this that take the time to share that make
a difference. The trials he has overcome are encouraging to
us all to keep going whatever obstacles we hit!
P.S. I did had some new music to the list, Tanner told me I had
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
is progressing daily. He has gone from needing 3 people
helping him on treadmill to only Jan making sure his
feet land in the right place. They have also received a
new machine called the nu-step. Anyone can use it, it
is not made just for disabilities. You use your arms
and legs if you can. They go at the same time. So off
course they have a competition going with everyone.
Even the Physical Therapists. Tanner is in 1st place
with 2200 in 15 min. With his PT's behind him at 1900
and 1600. He is happy with this and said he is in training
to add more and intends on keeping the record.
This video is of Tanner on the 24th of April.
|Make a slideshow - it's easy!|
talk to her soccer team. Her team is
a new team that is coming together. They
have had a hard time starting out. The first
two games they lost. They were not playing to
their potential, but also not playing as a
team. I was surprised that Tanner would go do
it, but then I thought, 20 sixteen and seventeen
year old beautiful girls. Whatever his reason
he has won over all of them. He went and shared
his trials and struggles. After this all the
girls decided to write Tanners name on their cleats.
Even the coach! Tanner has now come to all their
games. He is one of their biggest fans (also gets
alot of support from them). Whatever it was these
girls have won every game. Not by one point, but have
scored 5 to 7 points. One of the players came over
to Tanner and shared that when she scored the goal
she thought of him. Wow, have we all learned alot!
|Make a slideshow - it's easy!|
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
do have a few stories to share, but first I want to show
you Tanners strength. His physical strength.
This is a rope in our back treehouse, this has become the
challange. To climb to top and back.
|Make a slideshow - it's easy!|
Friday, April 11, 2008
This describes some of Tanners qualities that we can all
learn from. This last weekend all of our extended family and
some friends went to Kaneville to ride motorcycles. I was in
CA with Kelsea and text Tanner. I made him promise me he
would not ride a motorcycle. He said he wouldn't, but he did
figure how to ride the Rhino. I guess I should be more specific!
(like it would of helped)
Please read on:
I just want you to know that I am very grateful for the example you have set for my son, Alex. On the way home from the mx trip, he talked of you almost the entire way back. You have made an impression on him that not many people take the time to recognize or do. I don't know if you realize it or not but Alex has a hard time making immediate friends. His personality hinders him to the point that other people write him off or just flat out ignore him or call him names or "weird". He has a very outspoken outlook on life, he's blunt and speaks his mind always (a good example was apparent in the truck with us and your dad on Sunday morning). He is the most brilliant student and the top of his class. But like most young kids he has a hard time harnessing his energy.
I too noticed that you gave him attention at the camp site and in the truck, took the time to be aware of his presence and talk with him. I don't know if you did that because I was there and I am his Father but you need to know that it meant so much to me and my wife. I watched how Alex indulged himself to your attention. He always spoke of you in any regard and said that you were so cool because you were happy in your way of life. He was envious of you when you made the make shift accelerator handle for the Rhino, he commented after seeing your creation saying "I should of thought of that for Tanner". I tried repeatedly to duplicate the Rhino ride he took with you on the "roller coaster" hill but was unsuccessful. He asked if I could return to the hotel where you could take over the Rhino. My son has faith in you.
Tanner, things have a funny way of happening in our lives. We never know what will happen. I will tell you this, you have touched my son's life at this time of his life and for that I am eternally grateful. You have been one of the answers to the Prayers of myself and his mother. I don't know you very well but if this is how you are, I wouldn't want you to change a thing. My son now wants to know when we are going with the Godfrey's on another motorcycle trip, "soon" is my reply.
Do not disregard what I have said in this email, I have pride and I don't want anyone knowing I'm a softy, I still have to uphold the hard ass personality. I love my family and welcome anything or anyone who blesses their lives. This being said I felt inspired to write you this note and let you know that a small miracle has taken place, thanks to you.
You have a great family. I'm privileged to have the friendship with your Father and Gregg and the entire family. That's what life is really all about.
Just so you know, you now rank in the same category of "cool people" as Travis Pastrana with my son.
Thanks again for those who take the time to share comments
with us. As much as these thing Tanner does touches all of you.
Letters like this give him strength and courage. He know
he is making a difference in many different w`ays.
My love and prayers to all!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
has been doing this for a week. It takes so much
effort and alot out of him. This is exciting for
all of us. This video is from Emily's phone. Traci
has been filming him for the last 3 times so when
I get that I will update the blog. We are having to
send this to the insurance company because they
have cut off the Physical Therapy treatments. He
was only allowed 20 and has gone through them.
They tell me that in "Medical Terms" Tanner has
progressed as far as he will be able. Wait, that was
that he would not be able to move his legs. We
past that along time ago. So we have to prove that
he is still progressing. And will not stop until he
has reached his goal. That is walking again on his
own. So when I am not updating I am once again
on the phone with Medical and Insurance fighting
a good fight! I will not stop either.
at the Airport. Tanner and I headed out to where the rest
of the family were at the deseret. It was so great to see
Josh and Tanner again for one last time before Josh
gets back. These are two friends(cousins) that have
been tight from the very start. This is what you call
true kindred spirits! So, as you can see Tanner did
ride a four wheeler. He told me it is sand and not
bumpy. Yes, he thinks his mom hasn't been around!
But as you can see it is a family affair!
The pictures of Tanner with the Gun are of him waiting for
Kelsea's prom date. Scott wasn't home so I guess
he had to take the man of the house role. Lance
was a good sport about it. This is what keeps us
going around here. We never know what Tanner will
do next. He is our strength and makes us laugh through
times when it is hard. When I am down I just have
to look at his smile and the hurt in my heart turns
to warmth. Thank you Tanner for helping us through this!!
My love and prayers to all that express your thoughts
and prayers to us.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
this on. I started crying as I was downloading
pictures and haven't stopped. As I was doing
this I was listening to Carrie Underwood's
song "So Small". If you haven't listen to it, it
is on our song list. It was one of the first song
I added as Tanner was in the hospital. We
can conquer anything as long as we have
love and each other!
|Make a slideshow - it's easy!|
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
pictures of his cake and ice cream with the family.
I can't believe how fast the time goes. Tanner is
definitely busy between all the therapy he is doing.
Which in turn keeps his mom busy. His Grandma
Carolyn picks him up for physical therapy and the
acupuncture. Sometime she waits for Dr. Blake Butler
for over one hour. Depending how they time it, because
it is on a walk in basis. Now this is huge for her to wait
She is a full on type A and has to be doing something with
her time all the time. (she does read a book.) Then I pick
up Tanner after Physical Therapy. Which is usually 2 to 3
hours of rebuilding his core muscles and reminding his
legs what the need to do. This is at Neroworx. It is a
great place and Tanner has enjoyed the therapists that
he works with. This is a non-profit place so they take what
the insurance pays, and raises money for the rest. Our
insurance will pay for 3 times a week for 45 mins a time.
I can promise you Tanner has benefited from the long hours
they have spent with him. I am very grateful for this facility.
I know this is a little long. I try to just give enough information
to keep everyone up to date. I feel that I leave a lot out, but
give the just of it. I wish I had more time so I don't leave so
much in between. Things are getting better everyday! So
maybe I can get on a regular schedule. That is something I
have never done. but there is always hope!'
Much love to all that keep up with Tanner. We appreciate
your thoughts and prayers. They are being heard and Tanner
is benefiting from them!! Please pass this to all the children. I
am so touched by the children that always tell me they are
praying for Tanner.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I got this from an article I was reading.
Which I felt it applies to our life know
and also where we are by the ocean. Anyway,
it just fits :
One of life's constants is unpredictability.
Ten years (or months or weeks) ago, how many of
us would have guessed where we'd be right now? Who
could have predicted the state of our world today
or the complex interaction of variables that created
our current circumstances ?
Because we never know what the future will bring.
Surprises --- some welcome, some less so. Surprise is
the nature of life(and the life of nature).
We persist in seeking certainty and security in this
changing world. But we cannot control the tides of life;
we can only ride the waves like skillful surfers. I
wish you good surfing.
From this I can take that we don't have much control
of what happens to us, but it is our choice on what we
do with it.
All this sounds so great. And on the good days it makes
it easy to apply. On bad days we have to remind ourselves
and dig way deep. Best of all we are not alone to face
these tides and waves. Our prayers will help pull us through,
we just need to remember to ask!
Love and Prayers to All!
and a helicopter ride. Gavin and Preston went scuba diving for
their first time. They chartered a boat with the Roberts and
many others. There were a total of around 25 total. It is a
big group and much chaos, but what is new with the Godfrey's.
I guess this the only way we know. They have a chair that
lowers people into the pool which is great for Tanner.
After that was a ride in the Helicopter. This was amazing to
see the island and most of all the whales. We can
watch them from our balcony.
Well we are enjoying paradise! They weather is sunny and
warm! I would love to bring back a pocket of sunshine to
PS If I can ask of your prayers, we need specific prayers
for his bladder to function on its own. This seems to be
our obstacle. I know all the prayers when specific for one
person and one thing it can make a difference.
Monday, March 3, 2008
for us and Tanner. I think it is bitter sweet for Tanner.
It was almost a year ago when Tanner was here for
graduation with his friends. Lots of good memories here.
It has been a challange getting ready, just figuring out
how things are going to work out. It is one of those
things again we take just a step at a time. From the
airport, trying to talk them into putting Scott and
Tanner in first class for obvious reasons, which we
had to pay little bit more and talked them into
bending the rules for us. But it worked and we made
it here. Tanner was well taken care of. The kids
traded with Scott half way and each had a turn with
Tanner. It was definitely more comfortable for him.
Then we get to the hotel and Tanner's wheelchair wont
fit through the bathroom door and between the rooms.
So we called maintenance and asked them to take the doors
Yesterday, we went on the Teralani, there is so many of us
that we chartered the boat. They were able to lift Tanners
wheelchair up onto it. He was able to wheel aroung the whole
boat. They were an awesome crew. They thought it was so
cool that Tanner was doing this they didn't charge for his
ride. When it was time to go snorkeling Tanner was
determined to go in. We put a belt on him and he used a
boogie board to hold on to as he snorkeled. Scott stayed
right by him. After a while, unbenosed to Scott, Tanner
took of his belt and went for a dive to the bottom. (about
25 feet) Scott paniced and kicked so hard to get Tanner
he kicked off his flippers. He grabbed Tanner by the feet
and pulled him up. Tanner said "Dad I was just going for
a dive! What are you doing?". He was the first one off
the boat and the last one to get on. At the second stop
Scott and Traci were out with Tanner. Tanner had spotted
a octopus. He was liking this diving down. So on the
way back in one of the crew members was standing on the
stairs.(Not knowing that Tanner was now diving.) As he
yelled a explicit he jumped in to rescue Tanner. It
scared all of us on the boat. Traci and Scott told
him it was ok he was meaning to do this. It took a little
time for the crew member to calm down. He said he has
never seen anything like that. We told him to hang around
we keep seeing things like this everyday. Tanner keeps
us all in suspense on the next attempt.
Well just wanted to share the first two days. Wow!
Thanks for the love and prayers that are sent our
way. Please continue with the prayers they are being
heard and are helping in every way.
Much love to all!!!
Friday, February 22, 2008
Tanner. Obviously he is doing well. I should say OK,
but I can honestly say that getting on that bike made his day.
As you can see from his smile. I know some are questioning
that ride, but look at Tanners face. Tanner is staying busy.
He has been going to physical therapy 3 times a week plus
acupuncture and chiropractor. Then the afternoon fills
with friends. This keeps us all busy, I have a revolving door.
we all love to see people (the only complaint is maybe
having the closing time be midnight.) Scott and I have
learned to just go to bed. We can't keep up with them at night.
Here are some pictures of Tanner. We finally got his stander.
He wasn't too excited to get into his Grandma's invention. So
now he can do some of his physical therapy here. This helps
to put weight on his bones. It helps them stay strong. He has
some more movement in his quads on his left leg. He can bend and
straighten it. Small steps but I know that it will have huge
Scott and Gavin went to St. George this weekend to race a
desert race. (Scott did not race)Gavin took 2nd due to a flat tire that he had
to finish the race with. Gregg, Chanler, Ethen, Tyler,
and the Miller boys raced also. Scott called with the news
of the day. Todd broke his right wrist and possibly his left.
His mom Jana was there, she took Todd to the hospital and came
back to Brent her oldest son with a broken collar bone. I
sure hope us moms have a special place in Heaven for what these
boys put us through! I told Jana we could fit a few more beds
in Tanners room. I'm sure I could have a few more patients.
Scott told me that there was alot of racers there that had
the #155 on their number plates to honor Tanner. I was so
touched by that. I know they are very supportive of
Tanner. All day Tanner said "boy, its a perfect day for a race".
His thoughts were with everyone of you that had his number on
your bike. Thanks for taking him along. I am glad that they
are out doing what they love and sending their thoughts and
prayers to Tanner. Tanner was very touched when he heard this.
He has such a big heart and it goes out to all of you.
Thanks again for your support and continued prayers.
Someone asked me what the doctors think of Tanners progress?
I can honestly say they don't know. They have
just sent Tanner on his way. I do talk to the nurse when we have
problems. But for the doctor, We have only seen him once since
Tanner has left the hospital. So as you can see it is not the
medical end that will heal Tanner. It is the love and support
he has from everyone of you that read this everyday and keep him
in your prayers. SO TOGETHER WE ARE GOING TO MAKE IT. AND WHEN
WE MAKE IT WE WILL ALL CELEBRATE TOGETHER. I feel that my extended
family as grown by leaps and bounds. What an amazing blessing
this is to our family. I want you all to know how much we love
each and everyone of you. I know some might be a little disappointed
in Tanners decision on getting on a bike this fast again. But it
is Tanner that has to live his life the way it is now. If he has
questions of what if's it is better to answer them now as we go.
This is how he sees what limits there are and where he can adjust.
The good news is the bike is put away out to the shop! So that
temptation won't be there as of now. I know alot of "what if's"
have been asked, but "what if's" don't matter to what is. I truly
believe that we can't live our lives on what if's. We take it as
I have not been too good at updating, I will try to get it updated
at least once a week. If there is anything that anyone wants to
know about Tanner I would be happy to tell you if I know.
Thanks again for your great comments! They do put a smile on
Tanners face and let him know that people care and we are not
fighting this alone.
Our love and prayers to all.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
take Gavin and Todd snowmobling. He asked how close I was to
home and I told him I was on my way to Costco. Then he said I was
going to miss it. And then preceded to tell me that Tanner was
riding around the block! I think I was in shock! I told him to take
video. I hung up and it hit me! What! So I called back and talked
to Todd. Todd said "Isn't it cool! He is even riding a wheelie!"
Oh my! When I got home I told them they were all grounded!!
Well I will let you see for yourself. I guess this is progress? And
I am glad he has his new helmet on!
Saturday, February 16, 2008
I finally figured out the movie feature on my camera.( Actuatlly Joe did)
It took Tanner some time to talk Tanner into showing off. I guess he
has been doing this for a couple weeks so its old news to him. But I
wanted to share with everyone! Thanks for your comments. We
appreciate all of you and your support. It makes us feel good
when they come in knowing that people are still praying and
thinking of us.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
for the time gone by. I guess you could say we ( I ) was on survival mode.
There was so many times I tried to write, but didn't. Not quite knowing
what to say. I know that sounds unlike me, I usually have too much to say.
I decided today that I wasn't going to loose anymore time. We all have
learned so much and have much more to go. Not ever understanding what
people that go through this really go through. Small obstacles that almost
stop you. Easy things that were once overlooked now become very hard.
But we are back, for know. So if you read this let Tanner know. It still
helps us to hear your encouraging words.
Tanner still can move his toes on his left foot. Even better he has feeling!
Also he can move his ankle, flex his hamstrings, and slightly bend his knee.
Last night he was able to pull his wheelchair forward, a small amount, with
his left leg! As for his right, his 2nd toe over he can wiggle in the slightest
also. He is getting stronger with his upper body. He makes many trips a
day around the block. He has a small hill he calls "the speed hill", that he
said he gets speed down. My mom asked him how fast he gets going and
he said "not fast enough!" He is mastering the wheelies in his wheelchair.
He still wrestles with his sibblings, they don't dare to get in arms reach.
He has quit the grab. Today at physical therapy Tanner was able to peddle
a bike with the power of his left leg. The other day I asked Tanner what
he wants to do when he can walk. He said he wants to ride a mountain bike.
I told him I can't wait until he can walk into the doctors office for his appt.
I would like to ask the doctor to rethink what he tells family members when
he comes out of the operating room. Maybe not to take away HOPE so soon.
Maybe just say "I don't know if he will walk."
One of my best friends dad brought a friend over that had broke his back when
he was in college. He was pole vaulting for the Olympics. It was the trials, and
his pole broke when he was in mid air. Coming down he broke his back in
many places. He told us his story. He is walking and you would have never
guessed what he had gone through. That at one time in his life he was paralysed.
He said he laid in a hospital bed for 9 months before he even moved his big toe.
His story is amazing. It was so good for Tanner and all of us to hear it. We love
the success stories. I am so thankful for people like him that will take the
time to come share with us a time in their life that I am sure is not fun to
remember. The most important thing he told Tanner is "It is not your legs that
will walk for you it will be your mind and your heart that will help you heal.
It will take the heart of a champion." As he looked around Tanners room, he
saw the trophies and pictures. He told Tanner he could tell Tanner had what it
will take. Both of them shared their testamony of the Book of Mormon. While in
the Hospital he listend to it by book on tape 9 times. This his where he found the
faith and hope that he needed to help him through this time. They challanged
Tanner to read the Book of Mormon and highlight each time the words hope
and faith are written. This is where we will find the hope that we need and the
tender mercy from our Father in Heaven.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
|Make a slideshow - it's easy!|
This was a day that Tanner has been looking forward to.
It was the USRA Banquet they have at the end of the year.
Tanner had taken 1st place in the Amateur division.
Almost every race he would have someone protest because
he would not only take 1st in the Amateurs, but he
would end up 15 overall. Which meant he would beat
alot of pro's. In a Worx race Tanner took 11th, If he would
of taken 10th he would have been disqualified. Lucky!
Tanner is now moved up to expert. He said they won't
be able to complain for awhile. But he will be back.
( we will let him believe that for know, mom has to think
hard about it.)It is one of those things we won't think
to far ahead. Whatever it takes to motivate him! He did
go buy a new Helmet and Jacket with some yamaha
bucks he had won at a race. He picked the same one as
Gavin so the are going to be a matching team. I am sure
you are thinking, what are you thinking that you would
let your kids ride anymore? But after a car crash you still
drive a car. Can you tell I am trying to justify this crazy
thinking? Anyways, after the banquet they came back and
have boxing matches. I bought these one Christmas,
thinking the boys could take there aggression out safely.
They are supposed to wear head gear also. They forget
that when mom is not here. Scott thought I was crazy,
and yes I probably am to promote this. Again what was I thinking?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
lightened my load and help me through the hardest thing I have ever
had to do. I can't imagine bringing Tanner home to anything else but
what he has. To help him maintain his sense of Independence and privacy.
I know this has made it so much easier on our family and Tanner.
I am not sure if my kids could agree with the easy part. It has taken its
toll on each of them also.
I try to talk to Tanner as we get him ready for bed to find out how he feels.
He is not a kid of many words or quick decisions. I ask him what color of
shower curtain, he says surprise me! Brenda gives him many wonderful
choices of dinners for tomorrow and he says "Surprise me". So sometimes,
I can get a few more words that have great meaning behind them.
Trying to figure out what are is frustration, and how we can work
through them. He can't go to far with out communication or we are both
in a bad place. So I try to talk at times like bedtime. Tonight it was
heart wrenching to see him in a place of wondering what is to be. As I
stroke his hair and think of my little boy, never thinking that he would
have to figure things out from a new prospective. I have pictures of him
trying to get off the floor onto an ottoman. He did it but not with ease. Also
he wasn't going to give up until he made it. As I watch his body jerk from the
muscle spasm's in his legs, wondering if he will be able to sleep tonight.
Also thinking of his Cousin Josh lifting him into the excursion, very tender,
and taking him out. How humbling for Tanner, how tender of Josh. Tanner
wondering if he has now just become a tag a long? I asked would you be there
if you weren't having this challenge? His answer was yes, but the feelings are
there. These are things that wrench your heart as a mom. Wishing you
could take this pain away. Yes we do have times like these. And yes we
hope for a better tomorrow. We have already come so far.
After all of that information I just couldn't sleep and figured if I shared a
moment with friends again, I will be lifted. Thanks for the prayers and tears
you share with me.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
try to remember this. Tanner is still moving his toes
and now can feel a sharp pin. Thank you for all the
support and positive comments. Most of all the Prayers!
When one of our friends daughter heard that Tanner
had moved his toes she said, "It was because she had prayed
alot for him." I know the prayers are being heard. And at
times when you start to wonder things happen to keep the
I have thought everyday about the updates on the blog. There
has been so many thing I want to share about Tanner, I have
seemed to spend most my time on the phone with the Insurance.
Many, many countless and wasted time!! This has been a challenge
to not only deal with the daily tasks, but also keep up with the
insurance. They denied Tanners wheelchair which was ordered in
the first part of December. But after many phone calls and finding
the right people to help push this through. After nearly 4 weeks
we got the ok yesterday that it will be approved!! Now on to the next
task of his easy stand, which will help him put pressure on his bones
that help them stay strong. So we needed it yesterday! Which I gave the
order last Monday and it is going through the same process. Ok, so
more patients for Stacie to learn!!!
So when I master this challenge It should give me more time to
share good news as it happens. Also pictures! Thanks again for
the many comments and I want you to know that it does help
Tanner to hear from all of you, small or big they all give him
encouragement and let him know that he is in your thoughts. When
he is having his moments he looks through his book or on the computer
and I see smiles! They make a difference, and I thank you for that!
Friday, January 11, 2008
very good. I told him that he has the right to a bad day, because
he hasn't really had one since he has been home. He was down
and frustrated. Then around 2:00 he was putting on his pants
and concentrated on moving his toes. Something he does often
but very quietly. I received a phone call as I was pulling in my
neighborhood from Gavin. "Mom, Tanner is moving his toes! You
have to get home quick!" As I pulled in the driveway Preston
ran out and told me I have to come in quick! Here are some
pictures of the moment. Then Tanners Grandma had to come
over and see! I will catch up tomorrow with other information.
I wish I had more time to right everything that has happened
to us. I will share them later. Maybe tomorrow I will have more
time. Time is a rare thing around here! I am trying to figure
out a schedule. We weren't very scheduled before so I guess
I need to figure something out. This is my challenge, one of many.
Thanks, again for the prayers and thoughts. They are helping
as you can see everything counts!! We love you all!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
going to be ok. I have had a few people ask me if that bothers
me when I hear that. My response is that, that is what is
holding me up. There are times I find myself in doubt, wondering
what is going to be. I try to never go there, but it does happen.
Someone asked Scott "Why this would happen to him when he
does so much for others? Why we are being punished?" Life
happens to everyone. That is not something we have asked
ourselves is "Why?" The other side to that is "Why not?" I
wouldn't wish this upon anyone else. I know that the Lord is
not a punishing God and he would never give us a trial we
would not be able to make it through. With his help of course.
I found this quote from a book that our Cousin gave Tanner
that we often read through together.
FAITH IS NOT COMPLACENT; FAITH IS ACTION.
YOU DON'T HAVE FAITH AND WAIT. WHEN YOU
HAVE FAITH, YOU MOVE.
by Betty Eadie
Through this last 6 weeks not one person has be complacent. The
extreme makeover that was put together in less than 4 weeks.
Which made Tanners transition so much easier. He has no limits
on our main floor. He often goes outside for a stroll. He even got
stuck in the dip in the road when it was dark. His friends were
back at the room playing xbox. Tanner said a car drove by and he
was kind of embarrassed so he stuck it into reverse and got out.
Not sure why he couldn't have taken the sidewalks but they would
have much to easy. The roads were covered in snow. As you
can see he hasn't changed. He is very independent when he wants
to be. One of the hardest things for me is I want to help to much.
I see the simplest things become such a struggle. And when I do
jump in to help he says "Don't Mom, Don't". Kind of of like when your
little child wants to do it himself. I guess this is my chance to learn
Tanner is going to the Surgeon tomorrow for his follow up. I will
let you all know what they say. Only the positive! I have told the
Doctors at the hospital that if they don't know 100% I would rather
not hear what they have to say.
Have a great day,
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Tyler. They sung it for us on Christmas eve. I wanted to share the words
with you. Derek wrote the music. Josh and Derek played the acoustic guitars
and the rest sung. Not a dry eye (between Scott and I) in the room.
Never Walk This Path Alone
I saw things just a little bit different
I search for peace somewhere else
Take my hand, look for tomorrow
Never walk this path alone
Hold on just a little bit longer
Battles only make us stronger
Hold on just a little bit longer
Even in your darkest hour
As I looked into the distance
I see a future that is bright
I know the road wont be that easy
Won't give up with out a fight
Hold on just a little bit longer
Battles only make us stronger
Hold on just a little bit longer
Hold on just a little bit longer
Friday, January 4, 2008
stay more on top of this. It seems that we are keeping so busy
and keeping track of all. Gavin is on his way from Mexico with
Gregg's family. He left on Christmas morning and will be home
on Sunday. They were going to try to hit the Anahiem Stadium race,
but he is coming up to Beaver Dam tonight because of the weather.
Preston, Emily, the Miller Boys and Barney boys left yesterday to
go meet Gregg in LA for the race. Know it looks like the will stay
with Grandma and Grandpa for the weekend. There is 9 of them that
went with motorcycles to ride. Always an adventure. So with those
boys gone enjoying themselves we can focus on the other two. I have
learned that we all have our own way of dealing with this. Being a
mom is a challange to help them all through this, when I am trying to
figure it out myself.
Tanners attitude as still been amazing. He has pulled us through
at times when we have our own questions. Not letting him know. He
still has his teasing personallity and entertaining. He seems to
be comfortable with the situation he is in at this time. I think
knowing that it is short term. ( whatever short is ) that is the key
word. As I try to help him put his pants on or anything, because I
get in the hurry mode, or I can do it faster. His comment to me is
"Don't Mom, don't" I feel like I am at that stage once again that
when he was 2 or 3 it was "I can do it myself!" The hardest thing
is to watch him struggle just to do the simplest things. As is muscles
are regaining there strength. He has always been determined, and always
will be. Another trait that will pull him through!
Thank you for the comments and visits with Tanner, he has felt all the
love that has been shared with him. It has helped to bring him this far
and will help carry him the rest of the way. As one of my good friends
told be how she feels that he is going to walk again and make it through
this, as many has done the same. She asked me if that bothered me. I
told her it is what I need I have my times when my spirits go down and
I have my doubts (which I never would want to admit) but these are the
time that I am carried through my times when I feel that I am falling
down. Its all the people like that, that catch me and hold me when I
need it. Once again Thanks from all of us to all of you! We are riding
on many of your wings. We love you all!!
Tomorrow I will update on Tanners physical therapy. He is strong and
Sunday, December 30, 2007
to Trents Homecoming. Tanner seems to be in good
spirits. I have to admit I messed up the Blog site and
didn't realize that the comment area was lost somewhere.
Tanner came over to look at the site and let me know that
there were not any comments. So sorry about that. I know
He would like to hear from you, if you have tried to post
and not been able please try again. He does read these and
looks forward them.
We are looking for a great New Year! Wishing you a
Happy New Year also!
Saturday, December 29, 2007
with the situation so far. Only half way to go!
I wanted to share a story with everyone awhile ago. I actually bought some of
these books to give as gifts with a letter. Christmas has come and gone. Before Christmas I stopped by Deseret Book to get a book on tape for Tanner, at the check out there was a small book by Thomas S. Monson called "In Search of the Christmas Spirit." Since the books didn't make it out nor my letter, I will just share a small part that meant alot. He talks about Dickens' A Christmas Carol , which is a story we all hear at Christmas time. He said, "We can learn a treasured lesson from the pen of Dickens and from the example of Christ. As we lift our eyes heavenward and then remember to look outward into the lives of others, as we remember that it is more blessed to give than to receive, we, during this
Christmas season, will come to see a bright, particular star that will guide us to or precious opportunity." As I read this book to Tanner,This again reminded me of each and everyone of you that have reached out to us in every way to help us at this time in our lives. Thank you for looking forward. The examples that people have shown with their kindness and caring ways have reminded us of the true spirit of people. I would much rather be on the giving end, but the receiving end has blessed our family in ways that will be forever in our hearts.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Now with the time coming closer to Tanner coming home I want to
share a few things with you all. I want to Thank again the many visitors
that took the time out of this busy season to come and hang out
with Tanner. With every visitor it helped take Tanners mind off
some of the unsure future. (or the thoughts of what ifs) We can not
worry about those right know. We have to take it one day at a time.
And the days were filled with people to talk to, with
words of encouragement.
There are so many stories to share, but one I would like to share tonight is about
some of Utah fastest riders. These are riders that Tanner has the up most respect for. Dave Pearson, which rides for KTM and is one of the top off road racers in the nation. Rob Phillips has the #1 plate for overall. Both of these men and there wives made the trip up from St. George just to see Tanner. They left Sat. morning, spent 2 hours with Tanner and then made the trip back to St. George. Also left him with a signed Jersey! (which will be framed to go in his room) .
The next is a visit from Bert Bradford and his wife, Shaun Strong, and Mike Williams. All very fast racers also. There trip was from Utah County also on Saturday. Bert Bradford is one of the only Utahns to Qualify for the 6 day Enduro Race. This is a National race. I hope I am getting the info right, if not please forgive me. The bottom line is these are people that Tanner so respects and to have them take the time to let him know they care are believe in him is beyond words. I hope that Bert doesn't mind me sharing this letter to Tanner. As Tanner opened this letter he pulled out the Gold medal that Bert had won. He had given it to Tanner.
I WON THIS MEDAL AT THE 2 DAY ISDE QUALIFIER IN OHIO, THE REASON IT IS SPECIAL TO ME AND THE REASON I AM GIVING IT TO YOU IS, AT THIS RACE I BEAT ROB PHILLIPS - NO EXCUSES, HEADS UP FOR THE FIRST AND (SO FAR) THE ONLY TIME. TO ME IT REPRESENTS A FEAT THAT I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT IMPOSSIBLE, BUT THROUGH HARD WORK, PERSEVERANCE, AND NEVER EVER GIVING UP IT FINALLY HAPPENED. I HOPE IT INSPIRES YOU TO DO THE SAME.
YOU HAVE A MUCH BIGGER CHALLENGE AHEAD OF YOU THAN WINNING AN OFF-ROAD RACE: YOU HAVE TO WIN A LIFE RACE! i BELIEVE THAT EVERY PERSON IN THIS LIFE IS GIVEN CHALLENGES AND OBSTACLES TO OVER COME TO HELP THEM GROW AND MAKE THEM STRONGER, AND TO STRENGTHEN THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM, AND HELP OTHER PEOPLE GROW THROUGH THEIR EXAMPLES. I BELIEVE THAT THE EXTENT OF THESE CHALLENGES IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE CHARACTER, STRENGTH AND WILL OF THE PERSON BEING TESTED. IN OTHER WORDS TEST AND CHALLENGES THAT WE FACE ARE DESIGNED TO BE AS HARD AS POSSIBLE, BUT NEVER IMPOSSIBLE. I KNOW THAT OUR FATHER IN HEAVEN DOESN'T PLACE OBSTACLES BEFORE US THAT WE CAN'T OVERCOME, LEARN AND GROW FROM. THESE "LIFE RACES" AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE EASY; IF IT WERE EASY IT WOULDN'T BE CALLED A "RACE" WHICH IS ANOTHER WORD FOR TEST, OR CHALLENGE.
YOU MUST BE A PERSON WITH INCREDIBLY STRONG CHARACTER, DETERMINATION AND WILL POWER, AND I KNOW YOU CAN WIN THIS RACE!
BEST HOPES AND WISHES,
*This will go in a frame also!
As you see the power in this letter and visitors this is an example of the caliber of people that have made an effort to help my son. I know this is only the beginning of our race, but being a team race how could Tanner ever not win!
Much love to all,
P.S. The Doctor did put out limit to 1000 visitors. Thanks!